Indian on weekdays non-indian on the weekend

Everyday i seem to be flip-flopping from pretending to be Indian
or denying the fact that im Indian at all. When it comes to
the cricket im Sri Lankan, when Im about to travel in India
i think ill be "Indian" so I dont get hasseled like a foreigner and
you definately dont want to be sri lankan. When im anywhere else,
Im not Indian, im usually Australian. When it comes to bollywood im
happy to be Indian, tho today once again I find im denying being
Indian or from the sub-contintent , thats why this is so funny !

http://www.betterloverseminar.com/desi_wife_catches_husband

piss

taking a piss into a jar and subjecting yourself to drug tests is
probably what stopped me from becoming a top athelete. It
seems so undignified. Animals get to piss wherever they want,
frankly that seems a better system, toilets are fine but labelled
vials are another thing. And when u do the drug test , there
are lines that appear, discovering all ur secrets. May be in the
future you will be able take these tests for other attributes.
Are you serial killer ? Just give us your urine sample. Do you
listen to Hanson, im afraid the line indicates you do. Sorry...

Yep Maximum

Single men are depressed, dating men are stressed, and married
men are teetering on the brink of suicide

Excellent ! Today is valentines day, that fabricated
holiday which you dont even get a day off, driven by
corporations especially the card manufacturing industry.
Valentines day is in fact the second biggest card day of
the year (behind christams). Is it really just a sham ?
This year im thinking that may be its actually a good idea.
Ridicurous you may be thinking. But generally guys dont
really embrace such a holiday because it requires them to
put extra effort, in getting a gift , organising a restaurant
etc etc. But really how hard is it to put in extra effort
may be once or twice (birthdays as well), for someone you
think is pretty good ?? While watching B ring up and try
and book a restaurant for dinner, I saw him battle through
a long list of possible restaurants, calling them up, only
to be rejected time and time again. In fact some of the
restaurants actually laughed at him. Ok may be its unrealistic
to book at some places the day before, but restauranters
who laugh at clients, should be told to fk off. Go back to
your piece of shit job answering fones earning minimum wage,
before making judgement calls on people you cant even see.
Unless you are laughing at the fact they sound like Bill Lumberg.

Anyway perhaps Valentines is the new christmas , a lot of "effort"
but really its not that bad, and christmas theoretically you
have to spend it with your family and here you've chosen this
person. So quit complaining everyone, and enjoy the day ! On
the downside for a single person who doesnt cook, every restaurant
in town is probably booked out and i will starve. But i think
it would be funny, to go on a tour of the restaurants from higher
end to lower end. And you can see who makes the effort and who
is eating at aussie pizza house coz its the only place open.

Tho on a plus side for the single people out there, if your
wondering around valentines day (evening), and you see people
who arent walking around as a couple, they are almost certainly
single ! And if they are female and may be male they are probably
feeling so low, they'll settle for you, perhaps its win win for
everyone! Tho apparently the suicide rate does go up during this
time of the year , so may be even the depressed have standards...